Doug Smith on Playing the Long Game, The Growth that Comes from Suffering, and How to Connect with Mentors

Episode Summary: In this episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, Doug is interviewed by David McGlennen and talks about the impact of encouragement on young leaders, how growth requires endurance, and how suffering has played a role in developing as a leader.

About Doug Smith: Doug Smith is the Director of Development at Light of Life Rescue Mission and Founder and CEO of L3 Leadership. He is the author of his eBook, “Making the Most of Mentoring”, a step-by-step guide to help you build and cultivate relationships with mentors. He blogs at dougsmithlive.com, he is the host of the L3 Leadership podcast, and he is a sought-after public speaker. He is married to his high school sweetheart, Laura, who currently works as an Account Executive at Ivalua. Together, they love family, personal growth, travel, working out, and serving others.

4 Key Takeaways:
1. Doug dives into the significance of endurance, patience, and the necessity of a long-term mindset in attaining leadership growth.
2. He also uncovers the importance of “being in the arena” and how daily growth practices can lead to personal development.
3.  Furthermore, we explore the role of mastermind groups in fostering personal growth and leadership.
4.  We discuss the power of self-reflection and placing trust in God's timing.

Quotes From the Episode:
“You have no idea the impact of what a few words of encouragement can have.”
“You are one idea and one connection away from changing your destiny.”

Resources Mentioned:
L3 One Day Conference
L3 Mastermind Groups
David’s Podcast, In the Growth Space

Connect with Doug:
Website | Twitter | Facebook | Linkedin | Instagram

Episode Webpage: https://l3leadership.org/398
L3 Mastermind Groups: https://l3leadership.org/mastermind
L3 Leadership Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/L3Leader/
Follow us on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/l3-leadership

Transcript

Doug Smith: 0:07

Well, hey, leader, and welcome to another episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, where we are obsessed with helping you grow to your maximum potential and to maximize the impact of your leadership. My name is Doug Smith and I am your host, and today's episode is brought to you by my friends at Baratung Advisors. We also recorded this episode live from the new returncom studio. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. I'm so glad that you're here and I hope that you enjoy our content and become a subscriber. I know that you can also watch all of our episodes over on our YouTube channels to make sure you're subscribed there as well. And, as always, if you've been listening to the podcast for a while and it's impacted your life, it would mean the world to me. If you leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or whatever app you listen to podcast through, that really does help us to grow our audience and reach more leaders, so thank you in advance for that. Well, leader, in this week's episode, you're going to hear me being interviewed by my friend, David McGlennen, for his podcast in the growth space. David's been a long time friend and mentor in my life and he is a phenomenal leader and business coach and it was an honor to be on his podcast and sit in the interview we seat rather than the interviewer seat, and after we did the interview, I just thought, hey, this would be a great episode to share with all of you, and so I hope that this will add value to your life. In the episode, you'll hear me talk about the pivotal moments of growth in my journey, why you need a long term perspective and leadership, why suffering has been the greatest source of growth in my life, how to connect with mentors, and so much more. I think you're going to love this episode. But before we dive in, just a few announcements.

Doug Smith: 1:27

This episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast is sponsored by Beratung Advisors. The financial advisors at Beratung Advisors help educate and empower clients to make informed financial decisions. You can find out how Beratung Advisors can help you develop a customized financial plan for your financial future by visiting their website at wwwbaritungadvisorscom. That's B E R A T U N G advisors. com. Businesses and investment products and services offered through LPL Financial, Beratung Advisors, lpl Financial and L3 Leadership are separate entities.

Doug Smith: 2:00

I also want to thank our sponsor, Henne Jewelers. They're a jeweler earned by my friend and mentor, John Henne, and my wife Laura and I got our engagement and wedding rings through Henne Jewelers and had an incredible experience. And not only do they have great jewelry, but they also invest in people. In fact, for every couple that comes in engaged, they give them a book to help them prepare for marriage, and we just love that. So if you're in need of a good jeweler, check out HenneJewelerscom. And I also want to thank our new sponsor, reiturn. com, and leader. Let me just ask you this have you ever had an interest in investing in real estate? Well, now, for as little as $500, you can become a commercial real estate investor. Just visit reiturn. com to learn more. That's R E I T U R N. com. Investing involves risk. Please consult the return offering circular if you're interested in investing. And with all that being said, here's me being interviewed by my friend, David McGlennen.

David McGlennen: 2:48

Well, hey, Doug, welcome to the podcast man. I am so excited to have you here. It's like having a rock star on my podcast dude.

Doug Smith: 2:56

I don't know about that, but it's a great joy. I don't I forget how many years it's been now since we've known each other, but it's just been such a joy to watch you grow and develop and make an impact on so many leaders, lives and and I'm one of them Every time we meet, I'm always challenged to grow and excited, so I can't wait for a conversation.

David McGlennen: 3:12

Yeah, man, me too. I tell you one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on the podcast. Not only are you a leader who I have really admired and watched your growth, but you're just exciting and you have this passion for growth and this passion for leadership and I just really, really love that and I would love to know what got you interested in personal growth and leadership. You know back, I know it's been a number of years, but what was the catalyst for you?

Doug Smith: 3:46

Yeah, it's interesting. You know, the first 18 years of my life I didn't live intentional at all. I was the kid that barely graduated high school, I had an under, I think I had a 1.6 GPA, had to go to summer school every single year just to get to the next grade, and really even in middle school I had made the determination that I would never really amount to anything. I thought I would just my dad's a bus driver and there's nothing wrong with that. But I just thought, hey, I'll just follow my dad's footsteps. And so fast forward. My senior year of high school, my mom had a rare nerve disease in her legs. She ended up passing away and you know I won't share the whole story, but through that experience Christ came into my life and really transformed my life.

Doug Smith: 4:26

I met my wife and her family, and her family was totally different than the one I had grown up in. Her dad is the Dean of Admission at Carnegie Mellon. He was a leader and he really put it, came around me, put his arm around me and said Doug, you're a leader, you have potential, you're gonna go to college. And it was really the first time in my life as a young man that anyone had spoken anything like that over me and, as a result of that relationship, started going to church with that family and started interning at the church under a man that we I think we both know, larry Bettencourt and the leadership edge. It was so interesting. You know, I didn't even know what an internship was. I really just started interning because I thought it would impress my wife at the time that I was interning at a church. It didn't, side note.

David McGlennen: 5:11

Side note it didn't. That's funny.

Doug Smith: 5:13

But looking back, I remember Larry, as part of the internship he would bring in different leaders like yourself from the community who were doing great things, and they would come and talk to us for 30 to 60 minutes and he just said, hey, if anything that David said resonated with you, you should take him out to coffee and ask him to mentor you and come with questions.

Doug Smith: 5:33

And he gave us this whole process and as I started listening to different people talk, something just went off in me and he ended up also giving me a John Maxwell CD. I knew we're both Maxwell fans and I still remember it was called Standing Tall. It was a CD and I put it in my CD player and it was the first time I ever listened to anything on personal growth and I loved the lesson so much that I actually transcribed it word for word because I didn't know it came with notes. Of course, with Maxwell I had notes, but after that I called Larry and I said something in me just happened give me everything you have like this, and I just want to grow as much as I can. And so he gave me binders full of Maxwell CDs and for probably three to five years I would spend two to three hours at night to no exaggeration listening to leadership development content, and that was really the start of the catalyst of my personal growth journey.

David McGlennen: 6:25

Wow, you know. There's something that you said that I want to go back and revisit for just a second. So you're now father-in-law, really spoke words of life into you and believed in you, maybe even before you believed in yourself, and I'd love for you to speak into that. What was that like for you? How did that feel?

Doug Smith: 6:48

Well, yeah, I'll rewind a little bit more in my journey, three significant moments in my life. One was before I lost my mom, my high school principal. I got in trouble and I think me and my friend were in the office for the ten thousandth time and he just shook his head at us and he said guys, you're in here all the time and I guess all I have to say to you is you're both leaders and you influence people and people follow you and you can either use that influence for good or you can use that influence for bad, and right now you're using it for bad and I would encourage you to use it for good. So, technically, he was the first person that ever told me I had a potential, how that felt. I walked out of that meeting and looked at my friend and went can you believe this guy thinks we're leaders like I thought it was the funniest thing ever, didn't even like give it a second thought. But then, as I met my father-in-law you know he said it and it was a second time and it was just like my life was starting to turn around.

Doug Smith: 7:42

And then the third person was Larry, who came into my life and I thought, maybe, maybe I do have potential, maybe I do have giftings inside of me that I never knew I had and maybe I can actually do something significant with my life. And I think there was still a lot of question marks, but it was again. Here we are. It's been twenty years since I had those conversations and I'm still talking about them, and so I always tell leaders you have no idea the impact with just a few words of encouragement can have, especially on a young person. It can literally change the trajectory of their life, and I'm forever grateful for all those who have spoken encouragement over me.

David McGlennen: 8:16

Yeah, man. Well, and I want to just kind of pull out of you for a second, like the feeling, part of that growth, because you know. So let me ask you this it's kind of a silly question, but this popped into my head so I'm going to ask it. So, when you've gone through different growth seasons of your life, so when you were 18 and you made that transition and started to grow and transcribe the John Maxwell CDs, what was that like? I mean, was it like, was it super easy, was it hard? What did that feel like? I think and the reason why I ask it is because I think that when we talk about growth, that everybody thinks it's like oh great, let's just listen to a CD or listen to a podcast or maybe read a book and instantly you know hey, we're, you know, we grew, you know. But you know, you and I both know it doesn't happen that way. So I'm just kind of curious, like what it felt like for you?

Doug Smith: 9:18

Yeah, if we talk about emotion, so feeling at one side of it was exhilarating. I think, the reason growth can even be addicting, dare I say, is because there's no finish line.

Doug Smith: 9:31

There's no end to how far we can go, and to realize that we can actually grow and become more than we were yesterday is one of the most exciting things in life. In fact, you know I'm mentioning Maxwell a lot, but one of his definitions of success is success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to your maximum potential and sowing seeds to benefit others. And that growing you know I've heard another quote say it this way that growth equals happiness. And if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, in any area of your life, you have to become a growing person. And so if you want to happy marriage, have a growing marriage. If you want to happy company, have a growing company. And I'm 20 years into this growth journey and I'm still living out that exhilarating side. So so that's the fun side of it, like the vision that you could be more tomorrow than you are today. That will keep you energized the rest of your life.

David McGlennen: 10:20

To your other point.

Doug Smith: 10:22

You know, one of my favorite messages that I preach everywhere is faithfulness and being faithful. You know, as exciting as the exhilarating side is that, wow, I could have this bright future, that bright future at least what you're seeing in your heart maybe 20 years away, realistically. And I think the younger you are, the harder it is to be patient. But the older and the wiser you get in, the longer you grow, the more you recognize I don't want to get somewhere ahead of, I don't want to get ahead of my skis in one way. So I don't want to grow so fast that I get to a place that is not sustainable in my life. And so growth has been a 20 year journey. You know people looking me now and say how did you become assistant executive director at light of life and how did you build out three leadership? It's like, well, I've been growing to you know, for 20 years and you know, listening to lessons and all that is just part of it.

Doug Smith: 11:19

Part of it is actually getting real life experience in the arena. You know, I think the hard part when you start your growth journey is all you have to live on is a bunch of theories. And that was really challenging for me because I felt like I was just a theory person for so long. But putting in the practice day in and day out and actually getting real world leadership experience or real world growth experience, that's what's going to actually and, to be honest with you, is that's. That's the most exciting part of the journey. That exciting part of getting to a destination or getting a position or getting a certain amount of money, Like that excitement, lasts a day or two, but it's looking back and saying, wow, I can't. I remember who I was when I was 18 years old and I can't even fathom who I am today and where growth has taken me. I think that's the exciting part that will keep you going through the hard times.

David McGlennen: 12:06

Man, yeah, it's so, you know it's so good. And I'm so glad that you mentioned the. You know just the, the, the endurance part of it, because you know if you've ever I know you have you've run, you've run a marathon and you know if you run a marathon like you're running a 50 yard dash man, it isn't going to go well because you're going to crash and burn. And I know the same thing is true with leadership, growth and, and you know, by, by, you know pacing yourself and making sure that you're working on the fundamentals. That's, that's what it takes and it's so you referenced, you know you talked about it being in the arena and I know that you're L three. One day, was it a year ago, that was the theme. Yeah, and I love the quote and I love the, the, the, the quote, and from reservoir Roosevelt.

Doug Smith: 13:00

Yeah.

David McGlennen: 13:00

Sorry, I just had a blank there for a second. Yeah, and because it's like it's that or that, that quote and being in the arena is is like all about rolling up your sleeves, getting dirty, getting punched in the face, you know, and all those things happen. With leadership. It's not, it's not easy and it's messy. Man, and and and growth, I think just happens so little at a time, over and over time, at compounds, and I'm just so glad that you you talked about that, because so oftentimes we live in a an instant gratification society and so oftentimes we want instant gratification, we want instant leadership growth, like right now and that. But it's not the way it works, right.

Doug Smith: 13:47

Yeah, you know I am a person of faith, as you've probably already come to the conclusion of, but I remember I do. I do annual reviews. I'm really nerdy about my process.

Doug Smith: 13:56

I type up at 30 to 40 page report at the end of each year. But then at the end of every decade I actually do a decade review and it was really interesting. When I turned 30, I'm 38 now I did my decade review and I went through all of my journals and year end reports for my twenties and as I was spending time getting quiet before the God, I just felt like God dealt with my heart inside, not with an audible voice and I just felt like he spoke to me and said Doug, in your twenties I gave you a foundation to build your life on. In your thirties I'm going to give you something to say, and in your forties I'm going to give you a platform to say it. And for me, that just really helped me have a long view.

Doug Smith: 14:33

You know, my twenties that's an entire decade. 10 years is a really long time, especially when you're living it. But to recognize that, hey, an entire decade was built on just laying a foundation for me to even do anything with my life. And you know, in my thirties and I'm not there yet, but I'm not at the end yet but you know, god said he'd give me something to say. And now, on the tail end of this, I'm telling people. I don't know if I'd want to have to go through what I've had to go through in my thirties to have something to say, but again, that's all part of growth.

Doug Smith: 15:00

Growth can be painful, but I think if we can have a long term perspective. You know I'm really passionate about I have mastermind groups and I'm gathering leaders, and for me, my passion point for that is I want leaders to make it to their finish line, and I had a leader tell me once that he believes only about 2% of leaders make it to their finish line intact, to doing what they were supposed to do with their lives. And so for me it's all about longevity, like I hope to be here another 30, 40 years, and if that's true, I'm not even halfway through my journey. And so if you can play the long view and be patient, you'll be shocked at how far you can go, and in decades.

David McGlennen: 15:33

Yeah, boy, that's so true. And you know something you said just a moment ago I got. I just have to tell the listeners look, if you, if you need a process for a year end review, doug is your man, because I have borrowed it and I've used it and I love it because it's helped me to really reflect on my year and I never I actually hadn't heard you talk about, you know, reflecting on the decade and I probably need to do that at the end of this year, right Come on.

Doug Smith: 16:04

I would love to see your notes. If you do, Please share them with me.

David McGlennen: 16:08

Yeah, 6060 lessons in 60 years maybe or something like that, I don't know. But but I love the process that you've gone through to reflect, because you know we'll stay on the theme of John Maxwell quotes, because he says that you know, experience isn't the best teacher, but evaluated experiences, and when we think about evaluating our experience, that's it's what it takes, and there's a lot of leaders that don't take the time to downshift and just be quiet and and really reflect, and so I'm so inspired by you and by your process and just want to say publicly thank you for for sharing that.

Doug Smith: 16:50

Oh, my pleasure. And again, I can send you a link for it in the show notes for your listeners If they want to have done podcast lessons on it, as well as some templates for you if you're interested in that.

David McGlennen: 16:59

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So. I want to ask you a question about just you know what, what's been most impactful for you, like in your leadership growth? You've you've mentioned podcasts, you've mentioned books, you've mentioned mentors. So of those things, or or something else, like what has been most impactful for you in just your growth journey?

Doug Smith: 17:27

Yeah, people aren't going to like this answer, but suffering has been a great teacher and I don't think anyone wants to hear that. And listen, you know. On all the other things I would say you need to be do something to grow every day. I'm huge on this Be listening to podcasts, read books, mastermind groups which again, I could talk about in a bit, but they've been probably the greatest source of growth. But when I talked about getting in the arena, you know I can and we can go into detail on any of these, but I can name three specific seasons in my leadership journey that were the hardest, the hardest seasons that I ever went through. But looking back, they caused the most growth and you know the first one was I went from a leader I mentioned Larry Benton court before, where he was. He's the greatest in culture on earth. So, Doug, you can do anything. You're going to be the greatest leader here, you know.

Doug Smith: 18:13

So I felt like I could conquer the world and then, through a series of events, I ended up working for another leader in the next season of my life where it was the exact opposite and I felt like anything that Larry had spoken good over me was no longer true, I felt like I had no future. I felt like it was all facade and and I was passive, aggressive, I didn't know how to address. You know, having a leader above me that I didn't agree with or wanted to have hard conversations with, and for two years I literally I don't want to say I hated my life. That that wouldn't have been true. But as far as like a work, being in the arena, I did not enjoy that season at all and I ended up. I do believe it was God, but I ended up transitioning to another job and, funny enough, you know, they say sometimes that until you learn to pass the test, you have to keep taking it.

Doug Smith: 19:01

And yeah, well, I got into a new season and I felt like I had the exact same leader and a different body over me, and I'm like you've got to be kidding me.

Doug Smith: 19:09

But through that horrible experience I actually tried to get that leader fired at one point and I don't want to go into the story, but that ended up blowing up in my face and I ended up, for the first time in my life, having to have a hard conversation, and it changed everything for me. I would say, prior to that hard conversation with my boss, I was passive, aggressive, which I think a ton of people in organizations are. They never speak up, they don't know how to have conversations, so what do they do? They gossip. And I was the king of gossip. I loved when people came to me complained about a leader, because I would just like oh, I got more juice than you and you know it just built and it was creating such a toxic culture. And so from from that point on, I basically determined I will no longer gossip. I'll never again be passive, aggressive. If I have to have a hard conversation, I will have it, and I haven't been perfect in that journey, but for probably 12 years now I've been pretty consistent in it and that changed everything.

Doug Smith: 20:04

But I have not gone through those two years of suffering. Really, I guess it would end up being three or four, I don't know that I would be the person or the leader I am today and, as I share about that season, I'm shocked at how many leaders let down their garden, say I'm there, I don't know how to have conversations or leaders being able to draw that out of their people, and so that that was huge. And then the third one, and again I won't go into details, but a few years ago, in 2020, I had a mental breakdown At least that's what I say I had and when it was the hardest season I've ever gone through in my life, hope I never have to go do anything like that again. But again, who I came out as? On the other side of that, you know I wouldn't trade for millions of dollars. I'm just so grateful for the lessons learned. So I don't want to.

Doug Smith: 20:49

I don't want to pour suffering on everyone listening to this, but I would just say that's why you need to be in the arena, because let me say that someone told me once they said Doug, let God be the architect of your growth, and here's what I know and I don't mean to preach, but if God's the architect of our growth, god knows areas that we need to grow in that we aren't even aware of yet.

Doug Smith: 21:08

He will bring people around you and resources around you to forge you in the fire, so to speak, to to basically cause you to become the person he needs you to be for whatever he's called you to do. And so that's basically been my posture, my journey of God. You're the architect. I want to grow. I pray this prayer all the time God develop me as quickly and as solidly as possible, as fast as I can, but, as I was mentioning before, not so fast that I can't sustain who you call me to be. And but, as I always tell leaders when you pray, that be careful because God will answer it and it won't always be fun.

Doug Smith: 21:41

So, let God be the architect of your growth, yeah.

David McGlennen: 21:44

Well, man, you know, I thank you for sharing that, because I think that too often we forget that we have to go through the fire in order to be molded, you know, and and that those hard times are the times that we grow the most. I look back on my own personal journey and and I know it was the time actually, when I moved here to western Pennsylvania you know I was 40 years old, I had lived my entire life in the state of Indiana and I picked up my five kids and we sold the house that we had had built in you know, five acres, had beautiful you know beautiful place, moved over here and started, basically started over again, and that that that process was a really painful process. I had lost my dad just prior to that, and and so the but, as I look back on that time, what I want to go through it again? No, definitely not, but but I learned so much about myself and I grew so much through that process. So, you know, I just echo your, your words, because it is through those hard times, through those difficult times, you know, yes, even suffering times that we, we grow the most, and so I think that a lot of the leaders who are listening. I hope they understand that.

David McGlennen: 23:14

But it's, it's also a part of the process that that's joyful to you know. In a weird kind of a way it's it because when you're going through it is it's not fun. But I used to have this. I used to have this workout partner that used to have this phrase and he'd say you know, it doesn't have to be fun to be fun, and you know that's usually when you know he was kicking my butt on a on a run, or you know we were scaling some you know cliff or something like that. So but but yeah, so thank you for sharing that. You mentioned a little while ago masterminds, and I know that you know L three has as masterminds and group. You know group, the group process, what, what does that meant for you, like being in a mastermind and growing through that mastermind process. What's, what's that meant for you and maybe share a little bit about, like how you discovered that and you know and and implemented in your life.

Doug Smith: 24:12

Yeah, so I mentioned, you know, suffering has probably been the greatest cause, but I could have never gone through the suffering had I not invested in my growth outside of it, and so that's why you don't always know what you need prepared for, but that's why you consistently need to be investing in yourself. Again, back to the personal growth. Like you in my past, your layer would always tell us you don't see it's growth is like your hair you don't always get growing month to month, but all of a sudden you need a haircut. You don't see yourself growing day to day, but eventually you wake up and you're like, wow, I can't believe I'm the person you, I am today, and so making investments in yourself daily will be essential, for whenever you go through those hard seasons or go to the next level and leadership, you don't always see the impact of those initially, but when you step into that, you all of a sudden say, wow, I'm so grateful that I invested all that time in a coach or a mastermind group or in podcast, so that this is what I would say is as crucial.

Doug Smith: 25:03

As far as masterminds are concerned, I initially heard of them through what most people hear about the book thinking grow rich by Napoleon Hill, and he basically Andrew Carnegie hired him to study the, I think, top 500 most wealthiest and influential leaders of that time, and one of the characteristics he found in all of them where they were all in what he called a mastermind alliance, and all that meant was they were in groups of small groups, usually six to 12 leaders that met together on a consistent basis in order to help each other grow, hold each other accountable and to challenge each other.

Doug Smith: 25:34

And so when I read that, I thought I want to be in that, and I couldn't find any groups that I wanted to, that I joined that. I felt like hit that the way I wanted it to hit. So we started creating our own, and so I've been a mastermind groups now for eight years, and the way I describe it to leaders is one of our core values. That out three is community, and we believe that no leader should ever do life alone but in community. And yet I think Henry cloud shared once that he believes statistically, 80% of leaders, when asked, said that they don't have a single person that they can actually own. And so the reason masterminds are important, the way we shared, is we want every leader on earth to have a place where they're fully known, fully loved and fully challenged.

Doug Smith: 26:19

So let me break that down and then you have a place where you have a place where you have a place where you have a place where you have a place where you can come and fully be you. You don't have to fake it, you don't have to be someone else, you can just bring your whole being and then you'll be fully loved. You can, you'll be fully loved right where you're at is. You'll also be fully challenged, and so I often say you know, oftentimes for me I'm a words of affirmation guy. I want to hug in a pat on the back, but often what I need is literally a slap in the face.

David McGlennen: 26:47

And we need a. Yeah, we need a place.

Doug Smith: 26:50

Yeah, like you said your coach, like we need people to get in our face and say, doug, you're better than this, you can do better than this, you're sharper than this, let's go quit being a whiny baby.

Doug Smith: 27:00

And having that is crucial, and why mastermind groups that are consistent matters. It often takes six months to a year to even get to a place where you feel like you could be fully known, loved and challenged, and so to have groups that meet for years where you're consistently having that are great. And if you don't know how mastermind groups are run, just to break it down, really, for us I think the most valuable part is two-fold. One is hot seats, so it's an opportunity every time you're with a group to share something that you're going through. It could be a challenge in your business, it could be a challenge in leadership, it could be a challenge at home, and you share it. And then, all of a sudden, you have 10 to 12 other people who are going to share their experiences, their networks, their advice and hopefully, you walk away with a game plan, and so it's been amazing to see what's happened in and through our mastermind groups, but they've clearly been one of the greatest sources of growth in my life.

David McGlennen: 27:49

Yeah, man, that's so great. Thank you for sharing that. I wholeheartedly agree. We call them inner circle groups at impact leadership, and it's the same idea. It's being able to be in community with each other and get the challenge where we need it, but also be loved where we need to be loved as well and have people believe in us when we need that belief, and I so appreciate that. And one of the things I wanted to ask you is you talk to leaders in a number of different spaces, number of different generations. You've got older leaders, you've got younger leaders that you talk to. What's a common theme that you talk with leaders about? Like what's one thing or maybe a couple of things that you tend to be talking to leaders about and maybe you would like them to know maybe the older leaders to know about the younger leaders and the younger leaders to know about the older leaders, because you're kind of in that middle part of the generational spectrum.

Doug Smith: 28:58

Yeah, as far as the gaps, what I found and part of the reason we started L3 was I recognize I mentioned those meetings that we had with Larry where he would ask us to ask people out to copy from the community. Well, I started doing that. I did that for 10 years and I was so grateful that I got to spend time with all these leaders who were at the end of their life or their end of their career and they had all this experience that I could just soak up. And what I found was so many of them were so hungry to invest in the next generation. They don't need another paycheck, they don't need more money. They now are at the significant stage of their life and they just want to make an impact.

Doug Smith: 29:33

The problem is they don't know how to connect with the next generation or to find them, and so I don't want to say they're insecure, but they're fearful of like, how am I going to find young people to mentor?

Doug Smith: 29:42

And then you have young leaders who are longing to be mentored and longing to be poured into, but they don't know how to connect, and so part of what I want to do is just try to bridge the gap and what and I have an entire process I could share and you know I probably had another time for young leaders on how to get meetings with senior leaders because they want to pour into you. So if you're an emerging leader listening to this, I would just tell you you would be shocked at who would meet with you. In fact, I mentioned I did that for 10 years. That's really why I started the podcast. All of my peers start saying you get to spend time with Dave McGlennon. I can't believe that and I'd say I can't promise you, but he probably would spend time with you too if he would just ask no pressure, dave.

David McGlennen: 30:20

Yeah, right, right.

Doug Smith: 30:22

But that would be my encouragement to younger leaders and you'd be shocked in and I would give you a whole process for that. And as far as traits I'm looking for, yeah, when I interview senior leaders, I just want to know what's important and the recurring theme.

Doug Smith: 30:36

There is less and less Like there's not. You know, what's really important is just impacting lives. When people get to the end of their journey and they just they talk about two things that really impacted me as a young leader. One I always like to ask you know if you could go back and have coffee with yourself at any age? What age would that be and what would you tell that version? And statistically I'd probably say 25%, which is pretty big percent.

Doug Smith: 30:59

On answering that, they said I would go back to myself when I was in my young emerging leader years and I would just tell them it's gonna happen, like it's gonna happen.

Doug Smith: 31:09

Relax, don't put so much pressure on yourself, don't drive so hard trying to achieve it. Like everything that's in your heart is gonna happen, as we were talking about earlier. It's just not gonna happen in your timing or the time that you want. And your greatest regret will be if you try to go there as fast as you can and you literally miss every season of your life and all the moments that you were intended to enjoy at that moment. You missed out on it because you were chasing something. So that's been really significant to me, because I have that personality, to sit down and say I don't wanna miss my kids growing up Like whoever I wanna be in five years. You're like God could do something in one moment and all of a sudden all my dreams come true, so like I'm gonna trust his clock and timing and enjoy the journey along the way. That's been pretty significant there.

David McGlennen: 31:52

Yeah, yeah, I love that Well. So I love that you brought up the question about having coffee with the younger self. So I kinda like to turn that on you and say what age would you have coffee with of your younger self, and what would you wanna ask and say?

Doug Smith: 32:14

Yeah, two answers. This one the one that no one wants to hear, but because, because of the way my life turned out, I wouldn't change anything. So but I say like, yeah, I could have gone a totally different direction. I could be, my life, could be an episode I could. I could not be on the planet right now had my life gone one direction. So so, that said, I would just say you know the things that I would have tried to avoid by telling myself them. I would have missed out, going back to the suffering. I would have missed out on becoming the person that I am today by going through that. So that's my, my cliche answer. Hey, go through your life, the answer. So I was.

Doug Smith: 32:51

I was super heavy growing up. I weighed, I think, 100 pounds of kindergarten, 200 pounds in second grade. I just posted a picture recently myself in eighth grade, like I was on a baseball team they didn't even have a jersey that could fit me and literally like I spent so much time when I was young worrying about like, well, girl, ever like me, or I ever have a family and be happy, and I just wasted so much time worrying. And I just want to tell myself same thing. I guess I was saying the order leaders say like Doug, just be intentional, your life's going to turn off fine. Follow God and everything else will take care of itself. Oh, and if you actually focus on clean eating and eating healthy, you can drop this way really, really quickly and you actually fall in love with exercise.

Doug Smith: 33:34

So do that a lot faster and things will work out for you. So that's what.

David McGlennen: 33:37

I love myself. I love it Well, and I was just listening to your episode with Tony Horton on your podcast and, man, that was really cool. It was really cool and I think that you know number one. It's cool that you had, you know, tony Horton on your podcast. That's, that's number one. But that's also a testament to exactly what you're talking about, because you you reached out to people, you you're able to ask them, you know, for some time and questions, and then all led to the podcast and and I think that's really a great lesson for emerging leaders. Just, I want to reiterate that because, by virtue of just reaching out to people, you would be surprised at who wants to help you, who wants to invest a little time and who doesn't love coffee.

Doug Smith: 34:25

Yeah, yeah, and I yeah, and I tell people you know, when I encourage people on this whole mentoring process one I always say make a bucket list of people that you want to meet with, and literally no one should be off limits. So I made a bucket list years ago. Tony Horton was on that list, clint Hurdle was on that list, mike Tomlin was on that list, mike Sullivan from the penguins was on that like, and John Maxwell I've got to meet with. All of those people did when I made that bucket list that I know my strategy and how I was going to get me with them. And I just had a dream that man, how awesome would it be to spend an hour with some of these people. And then I couldn't start with just calling my Thomas on like. I had a cell phone. So what did I have to do? You have to start where you're all, where you are. My first podcast episode was my father-in-law, because I knew him.

David McGlennen: 35:07

Yeah, yes.

Doug Smith: 35:08

But you know, one thing leads to another and I always tell people great question to ask. Every time I'm done meeting with someone or interviewing someone on the podcast, I just say, hey, who are one or two other people that you think would be great for me to spend time with their interview, that I can either use your name and reaching out to them or that you'd be willing to introduce to me? And I'm just shocked and blown away by the amount of people that that's led to me being able to meet. So just dream big and go for it when it comes to meeting people, and who knows, maybe you'll be dining with a president one day.

David McGlennen: 35:37

I love it.

Doug Smith: 35:38

If you want to, we're not going to get political.

David McGlennen: 35:41

Yeah, yeah, no, I love that. No, that's so great, doug, I think, just by virtue of putting you know, putting that list together and just dreaming big. I just love that is so good Lesson for me as well, as I continue to grow myself and grow. You know the people who I am interacting with, and so as soon as we finish this podcast, I'm probably going to ask you that question, hey go for it, man, and you've done pretty well, you've done pretty well.

Doug Smith: 36:08

You've opened up doors for me and my network and with Paul Martinelli and things, and so I'm just appreciate it.

David McGlennen: 36:13

Yeah Well, I. It's so cool to be able to watch you but also learn from you, my friend. Really it's been really inspired. You're inspiring and I love how process driven you are, because that's not my tendency and so I've been learning that you know kind of. You know through through your lens and through you know our friendship over the years and it's just really been cool to watch, watch you in that process. So so maybe a last question here. So you mentioned a bucket list. So who's left on your bucket list? You've met with all of these people Tony Horton, john Maxwell, you know, clint Hurdle, mike Tomlin so who's who's? Who's next on your bucket list?

Doug Smith: 36:57

Oh, you can ask my assistant. The list is long. She gets, and every week I feel like I dumped 10 more names on her.

David McGlennen: 37:03

So add some more to it, yeah.

Doug Smith: 37:05

Jess, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry. Top of my list right now and I don't know why. I've just admired him for so long as Dave Ramsey, so I'm very cool. My friend got an interview with him and I think the strategy he used was pretty good. So I just have to position away for the timing. I've interviewed all the people around him, so the seeds are there. I just needed to happen. So yeah, he'd be the top.

David McGlennen: 37:27

Yeah, yeah, I'll just leave that.

Doug Smith: 37:31

Oh, they'll tell my head, john a cup. I've been trying to get him for years. Oh yeah, yeah.

David McGlennen: 37:35

Oh and right now.

Doug Smith: 37:36

So, and then there's bucket list people, to be fair, that like I think you're out of my league but are on my list. So, like Craig Grishow is a better one, ed my let would love to interview him. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yeah, oh yeah, erwin McManus has been on my list forever. I'm a huge Meyer of his. Yeah, so those are the ones that come to the top of my head, but I'd be happy to send you my spreadsheet of your bucket list.

David McGlennen: 38:01

No, I love that man. That's so good. So, speaking of bucket list, so you know, first of all, you're a dad. You're a father, I mean you're a husband. So, thinking about like your life as a whole, you know what is on your bucket list, like for the next season of your life. So you're 38. So, as you get you know closer to this, you know this next decade, what's on your bucket list, what's next for you.

Doug Smith: 38:29

Yeah, one. I do recommend everyone have a bucket list. I've had one for 20 years and I'm always adding to it, and so I think again just having it. You'd be surprised of just keeping a list like that in front of you, similar to the podcast interviews, of how something will come to the surface or something will happen, and it may not have ever happened that way if you hadn't created a bucket list.

Doug Smith: 38:50

And just to sign a really interesting study. I think it's Lou Holt. If you study him, he was in a really depressed. He was the hall fame coach from Notre Dame. He was in a really big season of depression at some point in his life and his wife encouraged him to make a bucket list and he made a list, I think, of 117 things and literally was like I want to fly in an Air Force jet, I want to meet the president, I want to coach a national football team to a national championship, and to this day I think he's accomplished like 97 of the 117 things. And he equates it all to actually just writing it down. So that's cool. That's a little bit of background on why you should have one.

Doug Smith: 39:27

As far as my bucket list, the most immediate in this season with everything going on, is I've wanted to write a book for 22 years, basically since I read John Maxwell's book. I'm like I want to do this one day. And, as we were just talking, I just finished my first draft and we could talk about that whole process, which took a long time, but but that happened. And so now I'm stepping into the publishing thing, publishing world, and trying to figure out how to navigate that, to get this book into the world. And my bucket list is to have to be a publisher author by 40. So I have about a year and a half to make that happen. Yeah, and that's really the next big thing. I think if I can launch that that would be great.

Doug Smith: 40:06

And then Really a lot of my other bucket list. I mean I obviously all the travel and experiences. My wife and I are big tennis fans. I want to go to all the you, all the the big major tournaments. We've gone to two of the four. This is really nerdy. I have a 25 year timeline of all the different trips I want to take and so I have that like kind of lined out and so have an idea of where those will line up. But we'll see, but yeah, that's that's so great.

David McGlennen: 40:30

I like, yeah, publish the book, man. So I can't wait to read it, man, I'll be, I'll be the first to be in line to have you sign it for me, man. Thanks, that'd be awesome, that'd be awesome. Well, doug, thank you for for sharing your heart and your heart for leadership and just a little bit about your growth journey. I'm really grateful that You've you've shared some time with us here today. You know, is there anything that we didn't talk about that we should? I one thing I know that I want to mention to to listeners is the the L3 one day, because if, if anybody is looking for an amazing Conference, the L3 one day is an amazing one day conference. You know all about leadership and I know that this year you've got an amazing Keynote speaker and I'll let you share a little bit about that. But, you know, talk a little bit about one day and your vision for that.

Doug Smith: 41:26

Yeah, I guess I, you know, the theme of today's podcast has all been about investing yourself. And, david, really that's what your whole life and and work is about is just investing in your growth, which is so vital and so for for me and Sure for you, we just want to provide opportunities for people to grow and so we create a conference a few years ago called L3. One day it's gonna be on February 29th 2024, right here in Pittsburgh, pennsylvania, and our keynote speakers horse Schultz, who's the founder of the Ritz Carlton. But that aside, I would just say you know, to leave the listeners with something you know, our, I tell people at our conference every single year I kind of cast this vision of you or one idea and one connection away from changing your destiny.

Doug Smith: 42:06

Yeah, and again I'll say that one more time, you were one idea and one connection away from changing your destiny and that's why you know going, getting into mastermind groups or getting coaching with someone like David, or being in groups or putting yourself in rooms with Leaders, you have no idea the one piece of content that you'll hear that may change everything, the one connection you make, that may change everything.

Doug Smith: 42:27

But what I do know is you don't know what you miss out on when you don't take advantage of those things. So if you're letting time go by in your life, if you know in the past year, you can't say that you've invested in coaching for yourself, if you can't say that you have a personal growth plan where you're consistently, you know, listening to podcasts and reading books, if you're not in a mastermind group, if you're not going to conferences, you are missing out on huge opportunities to become more of the person that you were created to be, and some of those Opportunities will only come when you expose yourself to great ideas and great connections through things like I just talked about. So that would be my big challenge to leave you with is go find your one idea, go find your one connection this year and watch what it does for you.

David McGlennen: 43:06

Oh man, doug, I love that. That is so great, and thank you for sharing all of your wisdom, thank you for your passion for growth and your passion for leadership, and and really thank you for your friendship, man. It's been just an amazing journey and I'm excited to continue it on with you.

Doug Smith: 43:27

Yeah, likewise, david, and you know I mentioned earlier several other voices that have encouraged me throughout the way, but you've certainly been one since I've met you. We both have similar passions, add value to people and you've been that constant source of encouragement to tell me to keep going and Making a difference. So I just so appreciate who you are and I love again watching the work that you're doing. If you're listening to this work with David, by the way there's lots of ways he could tell you, but you won't be, disappointed, he'll take you to the next level.

David McGlennen: 43:51

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that while leader.

Doug Smith: 43:54

Thank you so much for listening to my conversation with Dave McGlennon. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did. You can find ways to connect with me and links to everything that I discussed in the Show notes at L3 leadership org for slash 398 and hey, leader. 2024 is right around the corner and if you want a 10 extra growth next year, then I really want to challenge you to either launch or join an L3 leadership mastermind group. Mastermind groups are simply groups of six to 12 leaders that meet together on a consistent basis for at least one year in order to help each Other grow, hold each other accountable and to do life together. For me personally, mastermind groups have been the greatest source of growth in my Life over the last eight years, which is why I believe everyone needs to be in one. So if you're interested in learning more about launching a joining a group, go to L3 leadership org, forward slash masterminds or email me at Doug Smith at L3 leadership org and it's always out.

Doug Smith: 44:40

Leader. I like to end every episode with a quote, and I will quote Henry David Thorough, who said this. He said one is not born in the world to do everything, but to do something, leader, find your something and give it everything that you've got Well, I hope that this episode encouraged you. Know that, my wife Lauren, I love you, we believe in you and I say it every episode. But don't quit, keep leading. The world desperately needs your leadership.