The L3 Leadership Podcast with Doug Smith

Family Team Meetings: The Weekly System That's Transforming Marriages

• Doug Smith • Season 1 • Episode 423

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In this episode of the L3 Leadership Podcast, host Doug Smith is interviewed by Dave D'Angelo on Northway Christian Community's Project 167 Podcast. They discuss various topics, including Doug's impactful work at Light of Life Rescue Mission, strategies for addressing homelessness, and practical insights on financial management within families.

Doug shares his journey in leadership, the significance of regular family meetings, and the role of generosity in his life. This episode delves into the complexities of homelessness, mental health, and the opioid crisis, while also offering personal reflections on family dynamics, financial stewardship, and the importance of heart-led generosity.

00:00 Welcome to the L3 Leadership Podcast
01:23 Introducing Dave D'Angelo and the Project 167 Podcast
02:11 Doug Smith's Role at Light of Life Rescue Mission
04:07 Understanding Homelessness: Myths and Realities
09:32 Generosity and Financial Wisdom
13:20 Family Systems and Financial Peace
23:27 Understanding Laura's Love for Details
24:03 Family Team Meetings: A Weekly Routine
24:29 Financial Stewardship in Marriage
25:35 The Importance of IDS in Problem Solving
26:37 Three to One: Strengthening Marital Bonds
33:52 The Concept of Oneness in Marriage
34:57 Generosity in Marriage: Learning from Brooke
39:32 Encouraging Generosity: Lessons from Rick Warren
44:18 Final Thoughts and Reflections

The Project 167 Podcast–where we share ways to bring God’s word and biblical principles beyond the one hour we spend in church on Sundays, and into the remaining 167 hours of our week. Thank you to Pastor Dave D'Angelo for having Doug on for this episode.

You can find the Project 167 Podcast:
On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaY3oLiM0lSDTkTg_OQYVdW_oD2E7a114
On Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/31b93LnkgFZJryQyHOLZ8w?si=5a18d33cfa5e4503
On Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/project-167/id1799755945

The L3 Leadership Podcast:

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The L3 Leadership Podcast is sponsored by Andocia Marketing Solutions. Andocia exists to bring leaders' visions to life. Visit https://andocia.com to learn more.

To find more leadership resources and helpful content for your leadership journey, check out our website at https://l3leadership.org/ today.

Doug Smith:

Hey, leader, and welcome to another episode of the L three Leadership Podcast where we are passionate about helping you reach your maximum potential and to amplify your leadership impact. I'm your host, Doug Smith, and we recorded this episode live from the Northway Christian Community Podcast Studio. In today's episode, you're gonna hear my good friend and pastor of Northway Christian Community, Dave DeAngelo, having a conversation with me for his podcast, the 1 6 7 podcast. Highly recommend that you check that out, and we talk about so many different things in this podcast. A few of the highlights where we go into really good detail on what Laura and I's system is for having family team meetings on a weekly basis. We talk about what generosity looks like to our family and how we can deal with the homeless crisis in America. It was a wide range of conversation, and Dave and I go back and forth since we know each other really well. I loved this conversation and I think you will too. So with that being said, let's dive right in.

Dave D'Angelo:

Well, hey everybody. Welcome back to the 1 6 7 Podcast where we talk about relationships, we talk about our parenting, and of course we talk about work. All those things we do for the 167 hours where we're not in church today. I am super excited for our guest, a good friend of mine, and I'm gonna say this, a podcast mentor of mine , Doug's the Podcasting pro. So , uh, everybody, this is Doug Smith from , uh, a couple of different organizations. So Doug, why don't you, why don't you give a little bit of a bio, a little bit of background, smile big and what's it like being on the other side of the table here? Like Yeah. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

I'm getting used to it. Yeah. I've been doing this a little bit more, but it's great to be with you. Okay. Pastor Dave, I <laugh> .

Dave D'Angelo:

Do

Doug Smith:

You want me to call you Dave for

Dave D'Angelo:

This neighbor? Dave Neighbor. How about neighbor Dave? We're neighbors, so, yeah.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. So neighbor Dave, it's great to be with you. Yeah . Um , yeah . And yeah, so we've been friends for a while . I worked at Light of Life Rescue Mission. Yep . Uh , the nonprofit serving the homeless on the north side. What's

Dave D'Angelo:

Your role there? Yeah,

Doug Smith:

I've been there for 14 years, which is

Dave D'Angelo:

14. Yeah, it's pretty long. That's a long , that's that's a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. So, and I currently serve as the Assistant executive director. So basically oversee the day-to-day operations of the mission. I spend most of my time at the mission in those 14 years in development, so, okay . A lot of fundraising experience. And

Dave D'Angelo:

So development is a code word for

Doug Smith:

Fundraising,

Dave D'Angelo:

Giving <laugh> generosity. Yes . Isn't it? Yeah . That's part of the tie in for , uh, Doug today, this past weekend at Northway, the pastor preached on generosity. So , great message . There's a cool natural tie in . You said that 'cause you had to neighbor Dave preached a good message. Yeah , that's right. So , uh, 14 years , uh, light of Life and tell, tell a little bit about the mission of Light of Life and what, what you guys are . I think a lot of people are familiar, but Yeah. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

We've been on the north side for over 70 years, and we've been serving men, women, and children in our city mm-hmm <affirmative> . Who are experiencing homelessness. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . And for us, we're a faith-based organization. So we believe Christ is the answer, and he is the foundation of everything that we do, which is wonderful. Uh , and then also we have a continuum of care, which for us just means wherever someone is in their journey of experiencing homelessness, we wanna have a next step for them. So we have street outreach teams, we have an emergency shelter, we have long-term recovery programs mm-hmm <affirmative> . Uh , and ultimately graduate people to where they're back out and have housing, employment, and , uh, a lot of other things. We can certainly dive into any of those, but yeah , generally, and Northway has been a huge supporter for many, many years. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . Of light of life. So thank you to everyone listening to that, to this as well. For you . Northway

Dave D'Angelo:

Is a generous church, so church . Yeah , yeah , yeah, yeah. So you guys serve, you clothe, you feed you, help recover you house , uh, when it , when it comes to homelessness right here in Pittsburgh. Awesome. Um, I mean, amazing heartbeat ministry here and needed in our , in our city, Doug . So lemme just ask this. So I'm , I'm curious, we're gonna go a lot of different places today. Yeah . We are gonna talk about the 1, 6, 7 areas. We are gonna talk about , um, generosity and marriage. But I first thought, like, I don't think a lot of pe I think people know what homelessness is, but they don't really know what homelessness is. What do you , what do you feel like is like the come the , the misunderstandings or the myths, myths about homelessness , um, that, that most people sort of hold?

Doug Smith:

Yeah. I think the number one myth is, is typically people see someone out on the street, they're holding a sign, be for money. And their assumption is, oh, that person made bad decisions. Mm . And that's why they're there. It's their fault. They're bum, they're lazy.

Dave D'Angelo:

They could just choose to get out of this. They could work harder and Yeah . Yeah , yeah , yeah . Yeah .

Doug Smith:

And the reality is homelessness is a com a really, really complex issue. And the illustration we always use at the mission is, if you look at homelessness as a whole, we compare it to Niagara Falls . So if you ever looked at a waterfall,

Dave D'Angelo:

Wait a second, you compare homelessness to Niagara, I'm like , on the edge, let me go, let go edge of my seat . So I told you, I'm gonna interrupt you here. This is like interaction. Okay. Go, go. I'm interested. So

Doug Smith:

If you look at the problem of homelessness is this waterfall that's, that's flowing with all of this power mm-hmm <affirmative> . And you asked how could we ever stop the waterfall from going over the edge? You'd say it's impossible. Uh , but in the 18 hundreds when Niagara Falls actually did stop flowing, and it's because upstream, all of the tributaries that were leading into the water that led to the waterfall froze. And so in homelessness, if you go upstream from those experiencing homelessness, you're gonna find many tributaries and reasons for people becoming homeless. And so examples of that are, you have the opioid epidemic. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . So a few years ago, I think it was 2022, we had over a hundred thousand opioid deaths in the US set a record. Wow . Which is just devastating. Right. You know, drugs are killing people everywhere. Uh, you have a lack of affordable housing. And just in Allegheny County where we live, for every a hundred families looking for affordable housing, there's only 37 units available. And so

Dave D'Angelo:

Say that one again. Yeah. By the way, that noise was our helicopter landing on the roof. Your ride is here. Yeah . Thank you . Just kidding. The HVAC is gonna turn off here in a second, but say that again. Say the, say the stat that you just said. Yeah . So , because that was like, really?

Doug Smith:

Yeah. In Allegheny County, for every a hundred families looking for affordable housing, there's only 37 units available.

Dave D'Angelo:

So it's a negative ratio of available. It's an unavailable ratio. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Wow . Yeah . And , and even if people have housing lined up often, they can't get there for two or three months. And if they don't have any money to actually pay for somewhere to stay, they find themselves out on the street with nowhere to go or staying at a shelter. Right. Like light of life. Right. Um, and then you have the mental health crisis, and there's so many, even since Covid now that there's all these different things in the drugs like fentanyl, we're seeing mental health issues that we've never seen before. And to be honest, I don't know who is equipped to really deal with them. So we're all kind of in this position of figuring out how do we deal with the mental health crisis, food insecurity. I , I could keep going, but So

Dave D'Angelo:

Lots of streams, tributaries,

Doug Smith:

Lots of streams. And those are Yeah .

Dave D'Angelo:

That's a great picture, by the way.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. And, and I think we've actually done this. If you would go out on a street outreach with our outreach team and you went to an encampment that had 10, 10 , uh, 10 tents and met with all the individuals living there, you wouldn't just find one solution that's required and just say, Hey everyone, come on into light of life and we'll solve all of your problems. Every single one of those individuals has a unique, complex reason for what they're going through and complex solutions to what's actually required. And so , uh, it's just a really, really complex issue. And I think if people realize that they'd have a much bigger heart for, for those we serve.

Dave D'Angelo:

Wow. And and you don't realize that from a distance, do you? No, absolutely not . You gotta get hands and feet. You gotta get it on the ground. You gotta get near, gotta get. Um, as our, as our buddy Matt Geer said, you gotta actually have dust on your feet. Yeah. Before you shake something off, you know,

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Doug Smith:

Yeah . And in , in Pittsburgh, you know, Fred Rogers is famous, but he said there isn't a person.

Dave D'Angelo:

Wait , who's that? Who is just kidding? Mr. Rogers.

Doug Smith:

Yeah . Uh , he has a quote that I love. He said, there isn't a person that you couldn't learn to love if you just learned their story. Mm . Uh , and talking about proximity, that's what I love about being at light of Life. When you actually sit down and have a conversation and get to know the men and women that we served . You recognize. Yeah . They're just like you and I. Yeah . And you know, if we had, I always say in fact, you know , I don't know if you wanna go into this. I have a family member, my younger sister, who ended up , uh, battling an addiction with heroin and she ended up homeless twice and actually was in our program three different times. And if you would've ever told me that I would know someone, let alone a family member that would need our services, I would've never believed you. Right. But through my sister and the people I've come to know, it's Yeah . All of us are one or two decisions away from being in the same , same position or the same circumstance.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah. Yeah. It's nearer than we think. Yeah. It's closer to our lives. Um , not just in terms of people we might know or our circles of influence, but Yeah. I , I agree with you . I think that's, Hey , so how do we, how do we be generous , um, towards light of life? What we go to the website, phenomenal mission and , and that's why would I not plug this? Like, the call to be generous is to be rich towards God. So, yeah . Um ,

Doug Smith:

Well , surprisingly so I think there's lots of ways to be generous. And first I would actually say generosity of time if you have it . Not everyone is in a season of life where they have the time. Right. But, you know, our number one goal is come and see if you've never been to the mission, if you've never served a meal, come down and serve a meal. Get to know and talk to someone and actually experience and feel it. 'cause that that's what really starts changing and shaping your heart. Yeah. There's lots of ways to get involved volunteering. Uh , and then on the financial end, again, at a minimum it costs $2 and 58 cents to provide one meal for someone.

Dave D'Angelo:

Someone 2.58. Yeah. So

Doug Smith:

It doesn't cost a lot

Dave D'Angelo:

For one meal. For

Doug Smith:

One meal. So, you know, whether you can do that or, you know, some people have capacity to give a lot more than that. We have , uh, a pretty large budget and are doing a lot of great things in the city. We could use all the help we can get.

Dave D'Angelo:

Awesome. So North Side , look for the big cross up on top of that building. That's right. Right. Sort of down by the stadiums ish. Yeah . And yeah. And you have a second location over by CCAC by CCAC on is , right ? We met there. Yeah. Yeah , yeah. Yeah. All in that area where I still get turned around because I'm the most directionally challenged person. Thank God for GPSs. Yes . Like are you good with directions? I'm not. No . No . Okay. I remember the days of MapQuest when I first started working. Uh, I'm so thankful for a screen and A-A-G-P-S . I'm not, I don't know , north, south, east and west. Yeah . It's not my strength.

Doug Smith:

I know you're not in social a lot , but there was this, this video some guy made and he said, you know, parents are so worried about distractions with the iPhone and texting all these things. And then he's like, this was us in the nineties, <laugh> . And he had himself, he had one of those CD pouches looking for what CD to put in.

Dave D'Angelo:

Funny . And then he was

Doug Smith:

Funny printing out his map Quest directions

Dave D'Angelo:

Funny . And we had a big atlas in the back of our car growing up. I remember I used to read it like when I was bored or whatever, driving. You're

Doug Smith:

A little bit older than me, so I don't, I don't know the whole atlas.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah , just a little bit. Just little . So, okay. Light of life. I messing with you . Right. And then you also do the, you have a , you have a podcast, like how many episodes in L three podcast? Just tell us, tell us about that a little bit. So I'm literally, I'm, I'm interviewing the master right now. The, the pros pro. So

Doug Smith:

Yeah, I don't know about that, but , uh, yeah, I started a podcast in 2012. Go ,

Dave D'Angelo:

I'm gonna get you to laugh at some point.

Doug Smith:

I don't understand sarcasm. You know this about me. He's actually setting me up. Unfortunately, God designed me in a way that I , I'm very sarcastic. You

Dave D'Angelo:

Are .

Doug Smith:

When people are sarcastic with me, I always take it. Literally. I'm still , it could be insecurity. I

Dave D'Angelo:

Dunno , I'm still debating if I believe you when you say that, but none nonetheless. I'm kidding. I believe

Doug Smith:

You . I think I need more therapy. Yeah .

Dave D'Angelo:

<laugh> . Um , but L three leadership. Yeah. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Started a podcast in 2012. Wow. Uh , with my father-in-law. It was my first interview. And now , now we're 420 episodes in , uh, with a focus on leadership. It's been a lot of fun. Um, so yeah. I always say

Dave D'Angelo:

<crosstalk> . So wait , of all your guests, Paul , the potential guests in this world. Yeah. You asked your father-in-law, was that before you were married to Laura, or were you Ooh , that's a question about to be engaged . Was this like a strategic It was a strategic,

Doug Smith:

I think it was a few months before we got married. Okay. No, it wasn't strategic . Yeah. It took me 10 years to <laugh> to grow into the man. I needed to be a Mary Laura . A podcast interview wouldn't have gotten me by. Yeah. Yeah.

Dave D'Angelo:

So you got the L three thing you've interviewed. Yes . Here's what I love about Doug. Um, as you're getting to know Doug just a little bit , um, tenacious you will, you will , you really believe you can get time with someone if you ask and if you pursue it, and the guests that you've had on your podcast, they're , it's phenomenal. I mean, it's, it's like on par with any sort of other podcast you hear nationally. So if you're looking for leadership development , uh, the L three podcast is, is wonderful. You, you've done this. Um, I don't think I've been a guest on the podcast yet.

Doug Smith:

I just , it's on my to-do list to schedule that today right after this. And I'm not just saying

Dave D'Angelo:

That. I beat you to it, Doug. I beat you to it. I'm killing

Doug Smith:

You . I think I told you this. I'm you . Isn't this , I've

Dave D'Angelo:

Told you this on a text anyway . Yeah . Well , well, we see who won the race. I , as long as

Doug Smith:

We can use the studio, I've been podcasting for a while , but I'm nowhere . Yeah. Well ,

Dave D'Angelo:

I'll pray about that for , for it , Doug. We'll see , uh, <laugh> in time. Uh , okay. So tell us a little bit about your family too. Your , I mentioned Laura and tell us about your, your crew. Yeah . Tell us about the Smiths

Doug Smith:

Married my high school sweetheart, Laura . I , I kind of alluded to it just a second ago. Yep . But yeah, long journey to get married. Married way out of my league. Hit a home run. God. So, so, so graceful. Graceful and , and merciful to me. Uh, but we, yeah, we've been married now for 13 years. Yep . And yeah. And so we have five kids. We just had our fifth Luke Kennedy in January. Uh ,

Dave D'Angelo:

That's it . Congrats.

Doug Smith:

Yeah . If you would've ever told us we'd have five kids when we got married, I would've never believed you, but had

Dave D'Angelo:

A basketball team. Five kids. Yeah . That's it. So you got Liv . So I'm starting , Luke is at the end. Yeah . Caleb and what am I, who am I forgetting here? It's a biblical name. Joshua. James. James. James. Close . I knew it was a j . Oh , James. Uh , yeah . So you got the five, you got the crew five. So we're neighbors. Um, we live together , uh, out in the cranberry Mars area, live near each other. And , uh, one of my favorite things is when it's warm, we haven't seen each other for a while , is walks like in the evening hanging out with you guys. And , um, you , you've shared some of your story and , and like, so we're married, Brooke and I married almost goodness. We're , we're coming up on , um, 2002. So 23 years. This June will be , we'll be 23 years. Wow . Um, so like from moment of honesty, when it comes to like the, the sermon we talked about generosity. Is money ever a challenge in marriage?

Doug Smith:

Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, boy , it's the , it's if , if it's not the, it's one of the leading causes of divorce. And so yeah. It's a , it's a huge, huge challenge. And I think you need to get this right. I'm a huge, huge Dave Ramsey fan. I don't know if you've been through financial peace or encourage it, but , um, that was really a game changer for us to, to lay a foundation.

Dave D'Angelo:

Did you do all the steps? Are you like a, a Dave Ramsey, like to a t ? Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Uh , well , yeah, I'm a little bit loose with it, but in

Dave D'Angelo:

General, yes . To a lowercase t not a

Doug Smith:

Capital T. Yeah . Yeah . I'm not a great rule follower, but in general, the baby steps are, they're short, they're simple. Yeah. Um, my father-in-law, who before he was my father-in-law, actually paid for me to go through financial peace probably as part of my maturing process. Um,

Dave D'Angelo:

That was an investment in his daughter's future. Yeah. And like insurance against his future <laugh> . I think that's what that was.

Doug Smith:

Well , it's paid off. I'm sure he's very, very grateful. Uh , I think the ROI on that was huge.

Dave D'Angelo:

So you , you feel like the Ramsey material helped you and Laura get, get on the same page. Um, do you ever , do you ever have, is there anything with, with Dave Ramsey's material that you're like, I don't know if I agree with that.

Doug Smith:

Um, no. I , I tend to just , it's good to go with it. I , to be honest, we do use the credit card , so, okay . Uh , the only, so where we've gone to is

Dave D'Angelo:

We , it's confession. This is a safe place. This is confession. We use a credit card,

Doug Smith:

We use credit cards, but we pay 'em off every month, which it's like a charge

Dave D'Angelo:

Card.

Doug Smith:

Yes. But the argument that I can't beat with Dave, so, you know, you could argue it's for the points, which we do take advantage of the points. Sure. Yeah . But

Dave D'Angelo:

It's , we do too. We're the same, same page. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Yeah . Yeah . But his argument that I can't , I haven't listened to, but I can beat, is if you are using a credit card, even if you do all those things and pay it all off, you're still supporting an organization that's keeping millions of people enslaved and debt. And I can't argue that. And, and I wrestle with that. Yeah . Ethically, to be honest with you, because I

Dave D'Angelo:

Never think about that. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. And I'm , I'm be , in general, I'm benefiting off of other people's and , uh, wow. And now that I'm saying that on live on camera, I'm like, oh man, it got dark. Yeah.

Dave D'Angelo:

This just got deep. But it ,

Doug Smith:

It's for real. It's like, I never thought about that. I might need to make changes.

Dave D'Angelo:

I was thinking about the, the fee they charge businesses, because sometimes it's exorbitant, 3%, could it be 2% or, or whatever that is. But you're even saying the , the whole industry, the whole credit card industry is built on, what did you say, in danger or enslavement? They're

Doug Smith:

Yeah . Keeping people and . That's the same thing . And you know , yeah. They're getting a three to 5% fee for the businesses, but they're charging those individuals 25 to 30% on their debt, which is almost criminal probably. So

Dave D'Angelo:

I didn't think we were gonna go there. So like, but that , that is, man, that's something to wrestle through. We need,

Doug Smith:

Should we do it right here? Pull out to pull pair of scissors and cut up our credit cards? <laugh> . Oh

Dave D'Angelo:

Man. Uh , Dave Ramsey.

Doug Smith:

We might need to, yeah. What do you think ? But I love Dave. Yeah, yeah.

Dave D'Angelo:

He is , um, he's definitely jarring in his approach to stuff. I love the way he , um, I have an uncle who grew up in West Virginia. Dave's Tennessee. Right? Yeah . Like, but my uncle always has these , I call him his West Virginia one-liners. They're this way of saying something like , uh, I never thought, but why ? That makes a point. Wow.

Doug Smith:

Do any come to mind for you that you're

Dave D'Angelo:

Like putting lipstick on a pig <laugh> ? Like, when you have, like, if you're making an excuse in your life and you're trying to like really sell it, he's like, you're just putting lipstick on a pig. That's awesome. Like, just tell the truth. That's a , you made a bad decision like that, that's sort of a deal. That's Dave Ramsey. He's kind of got that like , um, tough love, no nonsense kind of approach. What do you think though about Dave ? This was not, I wasn't even thinking about going here, but I've , I've had a point where I've always wondered, I feel like generosity is always buried in Dave's steps. Mm .

Doug Smith:

Yeah .

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah . Like , 'cause 'cause I don't know that it's buried biblically. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Right . That's

Dave D'Angelo:

True. Yeah . What do you , any thoughts about that? Uh , as far

Doug Smith:

As the steps ?

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah . Because you're the , you're the disciple of Dave Ram . I'm

Doug Smith:

Just curious . Oh , he says if you live like no one else, you can give like no one else. But I do know he encourages people to tithe, which is, is where I'd encourage people to start Yeah . Their generosity with. Yeah. So I know he encourages, it's not part of the steps, but yeah . I think it's where everyone needs to , to start. And I certainly think he's a hundred percent an advocate of that. Yeah. Um, so that's huge. But yeah. Yeah . His steps are really to get people into a place financially where they can be more generous. Yeah . Uh , yeah . Be out of and be financially free. Yeah . So they can focus on what God's called them to do. And that's what I love about him.

Dave D'Angelo:

Like, don't live above your means. That's one of the biggest things he talks about. And the more you listen to that, the more you're like, that makes sense. Yeah. Like, it is wisdom. It will create freedom , um, in my life. So back to the whole differences. 'cause money is a challenging point, Brooke and I honestly, we haven't had a lot of like disagreements or dust ups . If, if we do, sometimes it's about spending Yeah . Or saving. How would you say you and Laura are on the like, spend save continuum? Where do each of you each if , if Laura doesn't mind you disclosing this?

Doug Smith:

No, no. I , well , yeah. She knows I'm , I'm an open book. I just say whatever. So she's used to that. She is great. Yeah . We've been together for 20 years. Um , yeah. Um, as far as spending a savings , so Patrick Beda has this cool, great quote. He said, you're one system away from changing your life. So the way I , who was the guy that

Dave D'Angelo:

Said that

Doug Smith:

Patrick bet David be , is his name. He's a little political, so, okay . You know , take that for what it's worth. But he has a lot of business wisdom. Okay . He, he built a insurance company and

Dave D'Angelo:

Sold it for iss , not necessarily endorsing all the ideas. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

I'm not endorsing his podcast necessarily, but Yeah . Yeah . But you're one system away from, from changing your life. And I would say that's how Laura and I operate in general. Like, we give us a good system . So this is why we like Dave so much. Hey, give us the system, we're gonna follow it to a t. Yeah. Great. And so we got to a point with Dave where we felt like we had the baby steps. Like, okay, we got this. Is there more to that? So we gotten a financial advisor and with him, what do

Dave D'Angelo:

You remember those baby steps? I'll get back to the financial

Doug Smith:

Advisor Oh , sure. Can walk him through. Yeah . Take me through this . So step one is to have a a thousand dollars emergency fund. And , and that's certainly not enough for all the emergencies you would need, but it's something to start if something happens, it's

Dave D'Angelo:

A really good start. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. Step two is to get completely debt free except for the house. And so he has a whole debt snowball approach to how he helps people get out of debt,

Dave D'Angelo:

Pay off the smallest one first, then keep that payment , uh, like a snowball, get it towards going towards bigger debts. Yeah. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Okay . So that's great. Uh , step three is a three to six month emergency fund. Yep . For what you would need. Yep . Uh , and then he has what he would call baby step three B . If you're in a season of life where you're saving for a house, or you would like to buy a house, that's where you would save that additional money for a down payment. If you already have a house, you would go to step four, which is saving 15% of your income to retirement. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . Uh , and he has a whole process for, you know, if you should invest Roth first , match first ,

Dave D'Angelo:

Et cetera . Yeah . It's all available online. You can find all this

Doug Smith:

Stuff. Yeah . Uh, five is fund your kids' college, so your five 20 nines, whatever that looks like for you and your family. And then step six is to pay off your mortgage completely , uh, as fast as possible with what's left. And so some people, financial advisors always argue that , uh, but then baby step seven is basically max everything out and live like no one else and give like no one else. Give, like no one

Dave D'Angelo:

Else, which is beautiful. Yeah . So, back to the money . You guys met with a financial advisor and you have a system. Yeah. Um, are, where are you and Laura at? Are you more spend or save? Are you both savers? Like what , um, how does that work?

Doug Smith:

Yeah, Laura basically lets me do a lot of that because I have the systems in place. So she'll, she'll call me out if there's anything that we think is like out of control. I am definitely, I'm definitely a spender. She's definitely a saver. Okay. Um, but again, it's like, that's why we have systems. So it's like, okay, we know we're putting this, we know exactly where all of our money's going. So we're doing this for retirement. Here's what we're doing for our five 20 nines. Here's what we're doing with extra projects and things that we want to do Yeah . Around the house. So, and we'll get into this, but we have a weekly family team meeting every week.

Dave D'Angelo:

Let's go there. This is what , this is another system. Right. Another system. And , and let me , let me just pause. As you think about the system and you talk about that Sure . You're probably wondering, like, so what , what does this have to do with this? This is a , this is like practical advice when you think about generosity. Typically , uh, one, one spouse wants to be more generous. The other spouse is like, we can't afford to be generous. And like, how do we get there? Doug, Doug and Laura have a system that I have always thought, wow, that that's pretty impressive with discipline that can free us up from some of the battles that marriages experience when it comes to differing views about money. So take us, take us through that system. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

And I'll just preface this 'cause you might be listening to this and saying, well, I'm not a systems and process person. And I would tell you neither am I <laugh> , even though I just said how much I love systems and processes.

Dave D'Angelo:

You have learned to love systems. Yes. You aren't , you're not by nature as just systematic, disciplined, regimented person, but you've seen the value of them over time.

Doug Smith:

You got it . So yeah. I love the outcome of having a system in place and following it. Okay. So Laura and I got connected with this ministry called Family teams. Okay . It's family teams.org, I think, or.com , um, net . But yeah, so they introduced us to this whole idea of family rhythms mm-hmm <affirmative> . And one of them is to have a weekly family team meeting. Eventually you're supposed to include the kids in everything. Our , our kids were a little young. Okay . Uh , we're starting to do that, but we meet every Saturday. We call it a family team meeting. Uh , and I never look forward to it every Saturday morning, like clockwork, I could show you our text chain . I get an email or a text from Laura at 6:30 AM after she has her devotion saying, here's the agenda for the family team meeting. So

Dave D'Angelo:

Wait a second. Laura sets an agenda. Oh, for sure. For a Saturday meeting Yeah . With you and her. Yep .

Doug Smith:

Here's everything we need to cover. Now Laura loves detail . So , so again, I'm not a detail person. I could go a month and not , but if you're married to someone detail oriented Yeah . Laura would rather literally have a family team meeting where she's getting all the information and knowing what we're doing in our family than to go on a date and, and go to a nice steakhouse. So

Dave D'Angelo:

That's almost like exaggeration. That's like a, and Gary Chapman would be upset with me, but that's like a love language of hers. Yeah. Is is honoring her. Yep . Or Ephesians five, submitting mutual submission, submitting to her need for details. Yes. Even though you're not a detail guy. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. And again, I, I hate it . I always like find myself dragging myself. So gimme some

Dave D'Angelo:

Example. What's on the agenda. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

The agenda's not very, very complicated. My train , text me the other day. The trash . Yeah. The trash, the

Dave D'Angelo:

Garbage.

Doug Smith:

You know , it's always weekend. So, hey, what are we doing? 'cause it's on a Saturday, what's going on this weekend? Okay . Then we look over the week. So, hey , uh, for us specifically, let's look over every day . Now again, both of us work. We have kids, you

Dave D'Angelo:

Have full calendars going different

Doug Smith:

Places full calendar. Yeah . So, hey, who's dropping the kids this day? Hey, do we need help? Do we need someone, you know ? Yep . What's going on at night? Yep . So we go over the whole calendar , uh, then we'll go over finances. So, hey, what ,

Dave D'Angelo:

You go over finances every week.

Doug Smith:

Yes. But, but again,

Dave D'Angelo:

So we would never run our businesses without looking at finances. We look at the church finances all the time. Yeah. Right. It's a , it's a stewardship. It's a responsibility. Every person that's listening who runs a business or is a part of a department looks at their fi . But sometimes in our households, it's been months before we actually looked. Yeah. You look at them every single week, every

Doug Smith:

Weekend. Again. So again, we're not like this detailed budget like lying online, but you're on it. We look at overall expenses, categories. Where are we? Yeah. What do we need to do? Are we on track for our goals? Are we following the systems ? Yeah. So we have that conversation. And I would just encourage spouses, you know, you may say, well, hey, my husband's really good with finances. I just trust him all with that. But hey, let let him bring you into the journey. You're coming to that journey together. He doesn't have to go into a detailed analysis of every budget line, but you should, and this is why I love Ramsey. It should be super simple. Like, Hey, in general, here's how we're doing financially. Or here's things that, you know, we're aiming for. Here's some concerns I had. Hey, you spent this this weekend. Um, so we go over finances in the family team meeting. Uh , and then basically it's just troubleshooting whatever issue . So , uh, and eeo we use a system at Light of Life called EOS. And we use this system called Traction IDSing. Right ? Yeah . So it's identifying, discussing and solving issues. So basically,

Dave D'Angelo:

Do you and Laura , IDS things? Yeah. You say that phrase

Doug Smith:

<laugh>. I do. She doesn't, she's she's not as into the film thing , she's just like, yeah, Laura's a problem solver. You

Dave D'Angelo:

Need to film one of these meetings. I think this would be like, phenomenal. Like ,

Doug Smith:

Is Jordan, Jordan, you wanna come over there ? We can make it a north way .

Dave D'Angelo:

I don't think he wants to. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Um, but yeah. And so, Hey Jordan,

Dave D'Angelo:

Do you have an IDS meeting? Uh , every week he's giving us thumbs down, man. Oh no.

Doug Smith:

Kelly, do you want him to have one every week?

Dave D'Angelo:

Did she say yes through

Doug Smith:

Thumbs up? See , see .

Dave D'Angelo:

Oh , see . So there's

Doug Smith:

The heart. It's coming, it's coming.

Dave D'Angelo:

There's the heart of the issue, right? Yeah. It's like we all, like, usually there's one spouse who've views it one way and another spouse who've views it another way. And this is one of these things that has actually helped you , even though you're different. Yeah. Right.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. Uh ,

Dave D'Angelo:

What was IDSing again? I started joking ,

Doug Smith:

Identifying, discussing, and solving issues. Okay . So, hey, we have , we have this coming up and we need help with this, so let's like talk through this. Or Hey, you know, one of our kids is wrestling with this. We need to talk through how we're gonna deal with that Uhhuh . Uh , and then we basically just wrap up on the marriage side . And this has been really helpful. I got this from Jeannie Mayo. We, we do it , we call it three to one . So we make each other say three specific things in the last week that we saw each other do. And it has to be specific that we, we loved , uh, the person doing. So. Hey, Laura , um, this week I saw you. Oh , we just had a fifth baby. Hey Laura , I see you daily and all the sacrifices you're making to make sure that our newborn is fed in addition to everything else we have going on. Wow . Thank you so much for that. When I said that to her last week, just being open and honest, she teared up and , and just feeling seen about something specific she was doing was, was a game

Dave D'Angelo:

Changer for her . And doesn't it matter more when it comes from your spouse? Yes. Like, like the , the one who's closest to you is also the one who can hurt you the most Mm . And heal you as well. Yeah. Um, faith four, the wounds of a, of a friend . I think they're even more from a spouse in a lot of ways. I'm not adding to the scriptures, but Yeah. Like , that's such a powerful example. So, so three, what do you call , what do you call that? Part three to one? I feel like you have a name for everything <laugh> , uh, in these , in these meetings. Like, but, but like a three to one , we can

Doug Smith:

Create a template for you, for the, for the listeners.

Dave D'Angelo:

I think a template would be wonderful. We could put it maybe in the show notes or something like that. But ,

Doug Smith:

Um, but yeah, three to one and, and I would just say to your point, had , if , if that wasn't a part of our agenda, I probably wouldn't have said that.

Dave D'Angelo:

It doesn't come natural to

Doug Smith:

Us. I would think it, yeah. Right . Maybe it would come on a date night of like, Hey, I've really , and maybe, you know, we try to do a date night once a month consistently with the season that we're in, but maybe that would come out. But every week now I'm telling her three encouraging things. And then Kelly will probably love this. Then the one thing is, what's one thing I did that annoyed the crap out of you that you wanted to kill me? So last week, I'll tell a funny story. Last week, <laugh> .

Dave D'Angelo:

So, so wait, you <laugh> . That's the question we fear getting an answer to. Yes. And what I hear you saying is, is you push through and ask it. Yes. So that she can't answer it. Well ,

Doug Smith:

Here's yes, <laugh> . So here's why. Imagine, right. I'm all about personal growth and development. Yeah. Imagine if every week you had one coaching, like one piece of coaching advice to make your marriage better. Yeah . That's, that's this opportunity. Yeah . My wife has an opportunity every week to tell me one thing I can do to make our marriage better. Are

Dave D'Angelo:

There ground rules ? Like, it's not a critical thing, it's a set in love.

Doug Smith:

Uh, no, we just, Laura and I are very,

Dave D'Angelo:

I'm gonna advise you to have some ground rules just for your future. I'm just kidding.

Doug Smith:

We're pretty blunt and direct.

Dave D'Angelo:

You guys are, you

Doug Smith:

Guys are. Yeah . Yeah . So Laura just wants to hear it as is. I probably am the one that like needs a little softer, but I'm used to Laura's directness. So

Dave D'Angelo:

That's some icing on that, right? Yeah, yeah ,

Doug Smith:

Yeah . Okay . But , uh, last week, and this wasn't like a huge change I need to make, but , um, I'm learning about, like, there was all this, we had pans that we've had pots and pans since we got married and they were probably toxic. 'cause they have all this chemicals in it. So I'm like, if I'm all or nothing. So when I find out something new I gotta do, I'm like, yeah, let's go . You're right . Yeah . So I'm like, Laura , we need to get new pots and pans that are non-toxic, blah, blah , blah . And as soon as I feel empowered to do something, I go all in. So she said, yeah, go ahead. You can do it. So I bought all these parts and

Dave D'Angelo:

Pain . You're ordering hex clad stuff from Gordon Ramsey, is that right? Uh ,

Doug Smith:

All clad because hex clad all still has a form of the , the chemical in according to my research on ai.

Dave D'Angelo:

Okay . Okay.

Doug Smith:

Sorry. Gordon Ramsey or whatever your name is. Yeah , we went with all clad ,

Dave D'Angelo:

Sorry , people who are against AI as well. <laugh>. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Love ai. All clad is local here. They , I found out they're in Canonsburg, so really supporting

Dave D'Angelo:

The bird . I didn't know that. Yeah. So Sarah's candy and all clad ,

Doug Smith:

All clad stainless steel. It's awesome. Yeah. So I bought them, which is great. Okay. Uh , but at the same time, I was so excited to , those

Dave D'Angelo:

Are not inexpensive.

Doug Smith:

Uh , no. They were like ,

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Okay . Um , but I was so excited to get rid of the old pans . I just threw 'em away, <laugh> without waiting for the new pans to arrive. So didn't think anything of it. And I get a text from Laura , I'm in a meeting with my boss on Thursday, and I see a mad emoji face and she said, did you really throw away the pots and pans before the new ones came? I'm like, yep , I did that. And yeah, Laura doesn't use the swearing emoji often, and she doesn't swear. But yeah, I got the swearing emoji. So we have edit that out. But , uh, yeah,

Dave D'Angelo:

We , I mean , that's real . So that was real life . I understand. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

So this week was, hey, don't, don't

Dave D'Angelo:

Have about this audience doesn't use that emoji, but they're aware of what it's

Doug Smith:

Yeah , yeah. That's right. They're perfect.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yes . Wow. So that's, so she gave you that feedback. That

Doug Smith:

Was the feedback. Don't ever do that again. Okay. Yeah . <laugh>,

Dave D'Angelo:

Were you thinking, don't ever put me in charge of buying pots and pans again? <laugh> ?

Doug Smith:

No, no. I'm just, I mean , in general. Okay . I , I can be an impulsive person Okay . And all or nothing. And so Kelly's worked with me. She knows Kelly

Dave D'Angelo:

Is Kelly Keppner, Kelly k who's on our staff team and Jordan for everybody wondering like , who are these , who are these people? Jordan Kepner is also on the team as well . So yeah. If

Doug Smith:

I don't have process people around me, I'm in trouble.

Dave D'Angelo:

So this meeting helps facilitate the points of contention. Many marriages experience not only with finances, but personalities, responsibilities, even , um, interpersonal frustrations and rubs like , uh, a lack of encouragement. Yeah . You're , you're dealing with that, but at the same time, hey, there are some , sometimes we think we always need outside help to help us know where we need to work. Sometimes we just don't say it in a , in a loving, direct way. A lot of times the the feedback is there. We may not be inviting it or setting up an environment that welcomes it. Yeah . You know, and so this, this kind of a system , um, as you've shared this with me before, I always found it really, really fascinating because for, for , for Brooke and myself, we function, I'm , I do the bills, I do, I manage the finances as far as like paying them. Um, we view our money as our money. Yes . It's , it's all our , it's all ours. Um, and what I have been, where I have had frustrations isn't when she spends, it's if she spends in an area and doesn't know the overall picture. And what it's always come down to is, well, if I, if I have the overall picture, why am I not sharing it with her? Hmm . Wow . And , and so a lot of it does come down to, it's not like I'm doing this to get you. It's why don't we just get on the same page? You got it. And so a lot of like, we are now able to be more generous because we're more aligned with where we are financially. Yeah. And your system would, would help , um, surface and present the opportunity for those kind of conversations. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

I mean, you said , you said the language. Oh , at the end of the day, if you really had to call what it is , it is, it's a same page meeting. Yeah. Let's make sure we're on the same page about how we're parenting, how we're utilizing and stewarding our, our money. Yeah . How we're utilizing our schedule Yeah . And how we're pursuing our dream of the family we wanted to create. Yeah.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah . And the beauty of same page meetings is you can be different people, but still get to the same page. Yeah. Because that's marriage.

Doug Smith:

Everybody listening to this that's married is married to someone different than them.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yes. I heard someone say Michael Hyatt, you're a fan of Michael Hyatt, right? Yeah . Huge. Michael Hyatt said, I believe God has given us a spouse who's different from us so that they, we are complimented , um, with the opposite personality, opposite mindset, opposite approach. So that we're so well-rounded, we're completely complimented for anything that we're gonna face in life. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

And have you seen that with Brooke 23 years?

Dave D'Angelo:

Absolutely. Yeah. 100%. Same . Um, she is the generous one by nature. Yeah . In our , in our family when it comes to generosity. When I was talking this weekend about , um, hey, generosity doesn't come automatic for all of us. Yeah. I think it comes more natural for some than it does for others. But , um, empowering her, letting her lead, submitting to her has helped us as a family because we're one Yeah. Do we talk about oneness enough? No. Like, the idea of two different people really joining together in union to be one finances is a way to really express that and live into that.

Doug Smith:

Oh , it's crazy. I listen to Ramsey all the time and , and it's, it's crazy how often the question comes up or the people say like, Hey, I'm married, but we have two separate bank accounts and Ramsey, you know, flips a gasket. But like Yeah. It's like, you're not one. How, how could you have separate, you're basically having two separate lives. Yeah . Like it , you have to be one. Yeah .

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah. I so personally, yeah, that's the way we operate our household. We, and when we, when we counsel couples being married, and there's a lot , everyone has had different reasons why we, we didn't get married till later in life. And we have bills already coming out of these things. So I understand everyone's reasons. I think the one bank account forces unity. Yeah. With no other things. Yeah . So that's, that's what , you

Doug Smith:

Can't hide anything.

Dave D'Angelo:

You can't hide anything. That's what I endorse. And I think it really pushes, pushes you to get onto the same page and it pushes you to some struggles. Yeah . But the struggles are worth it, especially , um, especially in marriage. So,

Doug Smith:

Yeah . And you mentioned, and we can jump in now, I'm gonna go into my interview skills , but , but you were talking about Brooke being generous. I do want to , like, what does generosity look like? And we can talk about this together, but like, what does that look like in your family or to Brooke? Like when you say, wow, she's the generous one, like how does that, how does that come out in her?

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah. So , um, I am all , my first thought is because I'm the manager is what , what's this gonna cost and do we have enough? And Brooke is, they need to be loved. So let's be as generous as we possibly can. Even if it hurts us. Go Brooke . So she is, yeah . I mean, that's her heart. She is , she is beautiful. And , um, she like, like when we have Nico's friends from college over, it's not like, Hey, let's make sure everyone has a water. She, she wants there to be like 15 different options for them. Yeah . But what if like, someone might be gluten free , someone might like caffeine free , someone might lock , lock this. I'm like, okay, so let's talk about this together. But she wants to create an environment that's generous and that people feel loved and that they want, they want to come back to. And any , I have learned , um, whenever we're about to give a gift, like we have someone is is getting married soon that we know and you're , we're gonna put , uh, we call it a boost. That's the all right . The , the Italian handshake. We talked before , haven't we ? Nice . Um, we're , we're gonna put money in there. And I have like, my first thought is, well, what did we give their brother? Hmm . Or what did they give us? <laugh> and Brooks is is like, what, what , what's God leading us to give them ? Hmm . Or could we do more? Not in a negative way. So what we have learned is I've just said like, Hey, is there something on your heart? Yeah . And , and really God is leading me to, to move more into generosity by trusting the voice that, that he has given me through, through my wife. Yeah . Through Brooke .

Doug Smith:

So has that been hard for you? Like, do you always pretty much agree with what God Brooke believes God's putting on her heart in general? Or has there, has that created tension at all? Yeah, so

Dave D'Angelo:

Sometimes. So let's, let's just talk about this. Sometimes we can be generous for , uh, impure reasons. Mm .

Doug Smith:

Say more Dave.

Dave D'Angelo:

We wanna be liked. Yeah . Right. Um, I didn't get to talk about this, it was a fourth point in the sermon about sometimes our giving has strings attached to it. It's a string of control. It's a string of , um, it's steam a relationship or it's a string of preference. Right? Yeah. Um, and so there are, so I will sometimes ask like, Hey, are we doing this to like look a certain way to them? Wow . Or are we doing this? 'cause this is actually what God is, is leading us to do. And so we navigate that. Um, that's , we certainly take into account our budget, but that, that's the reality. Yeah . Sometimes we do something to overcome our own insecurities. Hmm . Like, even, even a good thing like generosity can be done for impure, impure motives with , with strings . So we have very honest conversations around that. We've learned to trust each other. We've learned to push into the issue. 'cause it's better to talk about it and disagree on the front side, then have resentment and bitterness on the outside, on the after fact aftermath. So,

Doug Smith:

Love that. Thanks for sharing. Yeah. Those are deep questions. Those are great questions to ask.

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Money is something you gotta talk about. And , um, I will say this, nine outta 10 times Eileen on, on her heart with generosity. Yeah. Because she's leading me in an area that I'm, that I'm growing in and I'm, I'm not like stingy. Yeah. But at the same time , um,

Doug Smith:

No , but you are who you are . Like you said before, it's , that's why you compliment each other. Yeah . Like you bring out the best for book for your household for finances and she's bringing out the best in you for the , the king

Dave D'Angelo:

Ity . I got system, I pay our bills. There it is . This , and you know what I've done too , like one other little, this maybe a quick tidbit. Um, it has brought freedom to me. 'cause a lot of time in our marriage I have felt like I do all the bill paying and you don't even know what's going on right now in our finances. Again, my fault. Yeah. Tell her. Yeah. It's not like she doesn't wanna know, but like I've said, I'll do this . I don't, I don't know a lot of the stuff she does around our house. Yeah . It just, you just sort of get entitled and expect it to be done. Um, I've, I've, I've started to communicate to her, here's where we are. And then I also wrote down my systems. 'cause I am thinking, Hey, if anything ever happened to me, wow , she needs to know this stuff. Yeah. It's not okay for it to, to go to heaven , uh, in my, in my brain.

Doug Smith:

And as , as you've shared that with her, like how has that impacted her?

Dave D'Angelo:

She feels trusted. She feels empowered. She knows even more of the why if I'm saying like, Hey, we need to wait till next paycheck for this. 'cause she's been brought along in the story and I'm not, I'm not just managing it and expecting her to know , um, what , what's there. So yeah. It's beautiful. Yeah. So any pss you wanna say? Generosity money, the idss and the full pagers and the , I can't believe Laura sends you an actual agenda. I think that's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Doug Smith:

Yeah. Um, I would just say, yeah, if we're wrapping up on the financial end, I would just encourage people or challenge people. It'd be generous for us. Like the generosity journey, at least as a person of faith begins with tithing. So giving 10%. Mm-hmm . We started that when we were teenager. So, you know , I certainly think it's a lot easier to start that when you're a teenager making, you know, $200 a pay versus, you know, yeah . A 30 something with a family and all those things. But yeah , I do believe it's something that God asks of us. Yeah . And so I would encourage everyone to do that. And then on the challenge to be generous side, I've always been inspired by Rick Warren, who's a pastor. He did a TED Talk, if you're unfamiliar with him, he wrote a book called The Purpose-Driven Life. Uh , it's the second bestselling book next to the Bible. So he did all right. But in his Ted Talk, he said, when I, when I wrote the Purpose Driven Life and all that influence and money came in, I had to ask myself, okay, God, all this influence is here. All this money is here. What's it for? It's not about me. Mm . That's actually how he starts the book. And he said, if it's not about me, then how am I supposed to steward this? And the way that he stewarded his finances is he actually became a reverse tither. So Rick ,

Dave D'Angelo:

Explain what that is. Yes . If people don't know what a reverse tither is,

Doug Smith:

A reverse tither. So Rick Warren gives 90% of his income away <laugh> and lives off 10%. Yeah . And he paid back the church every single dollar the church has ever paid him because he never gotten a ministry for a paycheck. And I just think that's beautiful. Now, am I ever gonna be able to get to 90% be a reversed tether ? Probably not. But I'm not gonna limit God. But I would say that gives me a benchmark to shoot for. And so something Laura and I do do every year, you

Dave D'Angelo:

Don't have to stop at 10%. You don't

Doug Smith:

Have to stop at 10%.

Dave D'Angelo:

'cause God wants to grow us in generosity. Yeah .

Doug Smith:

Yeah. And so I'm trying to, I , I try to challenge, we try to challenge ourselves every year and say, how can we be more generous? And usually that's just increasing by a percentage a year. Um, I've had friends, I have a , um, a pastor friend in Florida who really challenged me. And he's, he , he's given away 33% of his income. And he said, man, we had a , we got a vision at one point in our giving , uh, career where we wanted to be six figure givers. And I was like, wow, that's amazing. He's like, it took us a while to get there, but we're we're there now. Wow . And I said, 33%. Like, that's a lot. And I said, but what about all your , you know , your financial advisor? And what he said to me, which challenged me because I love my system and I know exactly what numbers I'm aiming for in my system. He said, Doug, a financial advisor is always gonna tell you more. And , and they're always gonna make you have way more than you actually need. Be generous.

Dave D'Angelo:

They're gonna help you plan it like you need . You're gonna need more than you actually need .

Doug Smith:

You always have to invest more. He said, what are you gonna need millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars when you're 70? Yeah. He goes, wouldn't you rather look back and say, I gave millions and millions or however, hundreds of thousands of dollars to the kingdom of God. A

Dave D'Angelo:

Little bit of that American dream thing, the way the whole system is all set up Yep . For upward mobility and to have as much as possible even when you're gone. Yeah . There's a little bit of that. It's like, is that gonna help the next generation or potentially hamper the generation that inherits it?

Doug Smith:

Yeah. And there's a great book called Die With Zero that I'd recommend people. Uh, and the whole , the whole premise is , is basically that, that , uh, yes, you need a certain amount and financial advisors are great. I have one do too . So like , I'm not putting those down. Yeah , I do too . Yeah . You, you need a certain amount for , uh, to , to live and retire off of. Yeah.

Dave D'Angelo:

There's a stewardship principle. Yes . We're not saying be reckless and be unwise. Yes.

Doug Smith:

Yeah . But he said, what you overestimate is what you'll actually be able to do and want to do when you're in retirement. Mm-hmm . He's like, when you're 75, you're not gonna want to go climb Mount Everest, so use that money and invest it now. And he said the same thing with charitable giving and giving money to your kids. If you're, if you're in your fifties and sixties and you have kids that are just getting started, he said, man, buy, help them buy a house. Don't, don't wait till you die and they're 60 years old and don't need your money anymore. Help them , them , and then you

Dave D'Angelo:

Can be there to enjoy it as well. Yes. You can enjoy that blessing of giving and not, not just receiving. Yeah.

Doug Smith:

Scott Stevens told me something a few years ago that really minister to me. He's the <laugh> , he's the executive pastor of generosity and , uh, growth. Right. Expansion. Expansion, yes . I knew it was one of those words . Yes .

Dave D'Angelo:

Yeah . Outdoor development. I don't know what the title is. He changes it. He grows it every time he says that thing .

Doug Smith:

We love you Scott. Scott's the best.

Dave D'Angelo:

Um ,

Doug Smith:

But he said, man, when your kids are , when your kids are like outta the house, I view my job now as my job is to help them make their dreams come true. And I thought, wow , okay. That's my vision

Dave D'Angelo:

And that's a vision worth living towards.

Doug Smith:

Come on. That fired me . I'm , I'm living toward it now.

Dave D'Angelo:

That feels like joy. Yes. Along that path, what do you wanna do when you retire ? Do you want to go to like Yellowstone and see salt formations, <laugh> ? Is that something on your, on your bucket list?

Doug Smith:

I wanna see every night ? I do have a huge bucket list, which we won't get into, but Dave, if you ever travel with Dave, don't go on a hike with him where there's repetitive formations. <laugh> , we went to Yellowstone together. I don't even know what those things are called. I don't either. But basically we got like 20 feet into our hike and Dave's like, yeah, I've seen it. I can, I can go back to the car. I'm like, what? We just started.

Dave D'Angelo:

So everyone was so excited. I'm like, guys, they all look the same. What are we doing? Like ,

Doug Smith:

Anyways , so every couple months I just send a picture, a picture to Dave via text of him with the formations behind him . It's beautiful.

Dave D'Angelo:

Doug got really sick on one of those trips and sometimes I'll return the favor. He fell asleep in the airport and I just have this photo of him sleeping in an airport. Just, it's fun. So, hey, I appreciate you big time. Thanks for what you do , um, in my life. Yeah. As a, as a mentor, as a wise example, as a safe place to experience accountability. Um, and then also thanks for what you and Laura do for the Kingdom , um, through light of life, through the church, through the local church for pastors here in ministry. Pittsburgh's a better place, Doug , um, because you're here and because you're prioritizing God's Kingdom, thanks so much for helping all of us think differently about marriage and generosity. Yeah . Hey, we'll see you next time. 1 6, 7 podcast. Thanks everybody.

Doug Smith:

Hey, leader, thank you so much for listening to my conversation with Dave DeAngelo. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as we did, and if you want to get linked to anything that we discussed, you could find those in the show notes. I also wanna give a special shout out to our sponsor and Doha Marketing Solutions. They are the producers of this podcast, and if your organization has any needs in marketing, I whole highly recommend their services. You can visit them@enddosha.com, that's A-N-D-O-C-I a.com, and instead of a quote today, I actually wanna recommend a book that I've been listening to and loving and it's Mel Robbins new book called The Let Them Theory. I think it's absolutely incredible. I think everyone needs to , to read it. I highly encourage you to listen to it. I love Mel Robin's voice, and so I've really, really enjoyed, I'm gonna go through it again, the Let Them Theory go out and get it now. Well, hey, that's gonna wrap up today's episode, and as always, leaders, remember this, don't quit. Keep leading the world desperately needs your leadership. Until next time, we'll talk to you next episode.

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